Monday, July 25, 2011

You Can't Always Get What You Want

If there is one thing I have learned this summer its that life is full of disappointments.

I don't mean to be dramatic, but I had quite the adjustment coming back from Washington, and as I begin to prepare myself for another move, I have to admit I'm far less excited than I was planning.

If you would have asked me in May what would make me happy, I would have answered "August." Now that it is just around the corner my answer has changed.

Don't get me wrong I miss my besties like crazy. I'm looking forward to being reunited with my best friends at school because, well, that has been a huge gap in my life lately!

But I'm not ready for school and how hard this semester is going to be academically. Lets remember that the last time I took a test was December 2010. Last semester challenged me in ways I have never been challenged, and it reflected in my grades, but 18 hours scares me and I'm not sure I have the determination to do it.

I promise this is going somewhere other than me complaining--!

Today in church I was challenged with the idea of trial. This year has no doubt brought on a number of trials for me and those around me.

The biggest trial I have faced is relationships. This trial has hit in a variety of shapes and sizes; friendships, family, love.  They have all been hard, and they have all tested me. But today I was humbly reminded of James 1: 12
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Trials are out of our control. They are just the part of life God uses for growth, but at the time that seems so hard for me to grasp.

I know this trial of relationships is not one that is soon to pass. I also know that lately I have not done a very good job to stopping to think why I'm experiencing this trial or what  God is trying to teach me.

I can't tell you why everyone (my age) important to me is scattered across the country. I can't explain why I'm still clinging to a love so far gone its sickening that these feelings still linger.

What I can tell you is I don't have all the answers, but I have realized is that I have to be content with the way things are.

So maybe I don't have friends here at home. In two years when I'm chasing my dreams in NYC that won't matter.

So maybe the relationship I've been holding on to for so long needs a strong letting go.

So maybe my family is what is most important right now.

And maybe I have to accept that reality is coming back to give me a good smack in three short weeks.

Until then I hope that I can get a few important relationships in good order. It may have taken three months, but I'm happy with life's imperfections.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Headin' South

I found it appropriate to blog since I have finally had something exciting enough to share.

Although it may not excite you or cause tears of pure happiness to run down your cheeks like it did me, this past weekend was the best weekend of my summer when I flew down to Tennessee for my best friend Gretchen's birthday.

After a week of Facebook countdowns and Twitter exchanges, the time had finally come for me to board that long-awaited plane to Blountville, Tenn.

The plane ride itself was uneventful; no being seated by the man of my dreams, where we spend the entire flight in deep conversation then when finally back on the ground and allowed to turn on our smartphones did we immediately reach to copy down each other's number, where we can't get each other off our minds and we eventually have to plan a reuniting where we fall in love and spend the rest of our lives together. Wow that was a really bad run-on sentence and a good indication I love chick-flicks a little too much.

Anyway, what did happen was me seated with my Cosmo in lap as I tried to make the time pass.

A quick connection in Atlanta and I was so close to Blountville I could taste it. If I had to describe it I would say it tasted like sweet tea, because as soon as I saw Gretchen standing on the other side of the sliding glass doors, a huge smile came across my face and I remembered how sweet our friendship is.

We hugged for about three minutes as Gretch got emotional and started crying. It really had been a LONG two months of separation.

We drove to Gretchen's house and waited for Darcee and Rachel so we could make the road-trip to Nashville.

The five of us piled in Rex (Gretchen's car) and drove to Erin's house in Nashville where we would be celebrating Gretchen's 21st birthday.

Usually four hour car rides are something I dread (aka driving to and from school) but this trip was filled with singing, laughs and of course prank phone calls by the one and only Darcee, I mean Jamoosha.

We got to Erin's and enjoyed samosas and brownies. We called it a night early as we all piled in to Erin's room.

The next morning we woke up early, planned our day, did some laying around and finally headed out to Los Tres Amigos for lunch.

Of course we told the waiter that it was Gretchen's birthday (well it was going to be at midnight) so he brought her a shot of Tequila, which sounded a lot better than it actually went over and we were off to get ready for our night.

We pulled in to the Holiday Inn, our residence for the night, next to five cop cars and a fire truck. A little disturbed, Gretch and I went in to check in and asked what was going on. The front desk lady nonchalantly told us she couldn't tell us. Confused we headed back out to see if the girls had asked anyone, but no one had any clues.

Impressively all six of us got ready in  two hours and we headed to Cabana for dinner.  The restaurant was delicious. Erin had made special reservations, so we were able to sit in a huge booth with a drawn curtain that made it feel like our own private cabana. (You usually have to spend $250 on food to reserve the booth, but we were an exception because of the birthday girl.)

After dinner we headed back to the hotel to kill sometime before making our way downtown. (During the downtime we found out that a lady had killed herself in a room on the fifth floor, thanks to circumstances we were a lot less freaked out than we should have been) Gretchen donned her birthday sash and tiara, and we were ready to go.

Arriving downtown we went to a bar that had a variety of levels for dancing, karaoke and more dancing.

The next bar we went to had a DJ that Amy informed of Gretchen's birthday, and the next thing I know he is announcing Gretch's name and we are up on the stage.

A nice gentleman hoisted Gretchen up on the bar, and all of Gretchen's dreams for a perfect 21st were complete.

Gretchen's actual birthday was spent in the car driving back home for Nashville. It may sound like a boring birthday, but not with us girls! We had a lot of fun, but also let Gretch do what she does best, nap.

Monday Gretch and Amy took me to Pal's, food Gretch constantly craved in DC. It was just as good as she raved, my heart melted a little as I bit into the famous cheddar rounds.

I got to meet Ron, Gretchen's swim coach, as we enjoyed lunch served by the sexiest man I have ever seen working at a Cheddars. Of course Ron asked him his life story, told him where we all go to school then proceeded to ask if he had a girlfriend; the question we were all wondering since he asked us what we wanted to drink and I had to stop myself from answering "you". Obviously he had a girlfriend and the only number I was getting from him was the $8 on my bill.

Later we went to the animal shelter to see all the sweets. I almost came home with Bunny, a 5-year-old terrier mix.

Driving to the airport was the hardest part. I sat in the back of Amy's car legitimately questioning why all my friends live so far away and battling out the pros and cons of transferring to Milligan.

I said goodbye to my best friend, uncertain of the next time I will get to see her.

I boarded the plane depressed, and again was not seated next to Mr. Right.

Too upset to read Cosmo (which has to be pretty bad) I sat reminiscing on the weekend.

I really did enjoy every second of my time in TN, and am so blessed to have made such a great best friend in the four short months I spent in Washington.

You never know where you will meet people, or how long you will get to spend time with them, so make every minute count and keep those that are important close to your heart!