Finding Inspiration

Good thing I didn't make blogging a new years resolution. I really should be better about this, its been on my mind lately as I begin to think about summer internships and the newspaper kicking back up next week. Then I think, writing? When's the last time I did that? Yikes.

So here it goes:

This past weekend I was completely in my element. Spending three days in the city of Chicago was the most refreshing feeling I have had in months. It only became more apparent that I need to live in a city, when the second we passed the train coming in I thought to myself, I need to be on that. Or when we were walking down the sidewalk and I had the strong urge to jump on the public bus.

Memories of 365 days ago flooded back. It is hard to believe it was a year ago I moved to Washington D.C. for four short months. I felt like every other sentence out of my mouth was "that's just how it was in DC." I annoyed myself with memories and yearnings of being a city girl, I can't imagine what it was like for those around me.

But not all emotions of the weekend were of reminiscing or dreading going back to the cornfields. Instead I found myself more inspired than I have been in a very, very long time.

After recovering from a week of self pity and questioning if I will ever be able to pursue my passions to the level I imagine in my head, I realized the reason for all the doubt was because I simply am in a transitional stage. No body woke up one day the editor of Glamour. No body snapped their fingers and had a successful bridal shop. No one dreamed up a boutique they would like to own and clapped their hands and it appeared.

Maybe I feel overwhelmed because these are all things I would like to do, but right now I need to focus on climbing that ladder, not leaping to the top. School sucks, I can't pursue everything I want all at once and at the end of the day I often feel unsuccessful because I compare myself to others around me. (It also doesn't help dating someone who moves mountains because it's his personality to do so.)

The buildings, people and shops in Chicago were all inspired me to get out of this rut and chase after what I want. Maybe that's writing more about fashion, crafting or how-tos in the Echo. Maybe it's focusing hard on landing a dream internship this summer. Whatever it is, it all started with my favorite thing to do in the city: looking at peoples outfits. Something about the carefree ensembles make me feel like clothes are such an art. A feeling I want to pursue at school, but there is nothing inspiring about walking down the sidewalk on campus. (Okay, so maybe this attitude needs some adjusting.)

It is time to start making small goals, and that is starting with pursuing my passions when second semester starts next week.

Lessons Learned

It seems like I enjoy blogging at the conclusions of seasons in my life. Here I sit on the eve of finals week of fall semester of my junior year, with enough thoughts and emotions to drive the most sane into a state of mental depletion.

This semester has been one of the best learning experiences of my life. Although it completely sucked while trudging through it, God has been hard at work on my heart and the lessons learned were worth the hurt.

Before this semester, I never had to sit back and watch a relationship completely disintegrate. Make that two relationships. Helpless, responsible, lost and eventually numb are all feelings I spent the last four months wrestling with. And while I had to deal with situations I would have never imagined, my head hit the pillow every night (well usually early morning) in exhaustion and heavy prayer that things would soon turn around.

The turn two of the most valued relationships in my life took was not around, but down. Although some of the steps are hard to trace, the spiral was deep. I lost two best friends.

Lesson #1: People change and the only change we can control is ourself.

If you know me at all, you know depressed no where near describes me. Dealing with these feelings was one of the hardest tasks emotionally I've ever had to overcome. You should also know I'm a people person, and here's where the good news of the semester comes.

I've always loved the saying 'when God closes one door he opens another.' This semester is an example of God's never ending provision. I have made three best friends I would have never had the opportunity to make otherwise. These girls, with hardly knowing me, have gotten me through all the drama and lifted my spirits when it seemed near impossible.

As the semester ends God has revealed another relationship to me. One that has been right in front of my face for three years.

Lesson #2: Good things happen when you are open to change.

My third lesson is self explanatory; hard work pays off. This semester was absolutely horrific. I'm completely insane for taking 18 hours of class and being L&T editor. I had a few breaking points, but feel stronger for reaching the end.

Change, good things and hard work; a recipe for a well rounded semester.

I hope your head isn't spinning for reading my recap. I'm not checking myself into a mental hospital, although at times it crossed my mind. I'm ready for a break, lots of time with family and this new adventure of being in love with my best friend.

Missing

Summer 2011 too soon became a thing of the past.

Back at Taylor and I've hit the ground running. While I'm excited to be back on campus and catch up with everyone, I've spent minimal thought on the reason I'm actually here: class.

The good news is the madness doesn't start until Tuesday. The past two days have been devoted to The Echo, and our Freshman edition comes out tomorrow.

The summer didn't exactly end on the best note. Airtran has seemed to misplaced my luggage I traveled to North Carolina with on an end-of-the-summer-weekend-getaway. Frustrated and annoyed with constantly thinking of more things that were in the missing bag (the total is up to 36 things), I realized I am probably being taught a lesson in materialism.

Fortunately Airtran is supposedly going to be reimbursing me for the loss. Hope they realize I have expensive taste, and this won't be a cheap copout for their mistake. More importantly, how does a bag disappear? Anyway..

I named this post missing because it seems to be a trend lately. Obviously, my bag.

But this week I have been especially missing the people from DC my brain now associates with school. They're not here in Upland and it is weird.

I miss my family that I was able to spend the summer with. Colton will be writing sentences the next time I see him.

I miss my best friend who came home from Paris for two minutes before heading off to school. (Countdown til October starts now)

I keep seeing people on campus and telling them how much I missed them.

It feels good to be reunited with everyone, but I have pieces of DC plastered all over my room to remind me of those all over the country I love and miss so much.

I'm ready for the challenge of this year, and look forward to continue to grow spiritually, in relationships and in knowledge.

College is such a unique and amazing time of life and it should not be wasted.